Warning Labels

Forget having a supernatural ability. I'd rather be able to have and of course read a "Warning Label" when introduced to an unfamiliar person and/or activity. Sort of like a cousin to Facebook...

For instance my warning label would/should/WILL read:

Hello my name is the Duchess of Disaster,

This is your WARNING that it's highly likely I will act extremely awkward or participate in some unknowingly ridiculous behavior at some point before the end of the day. Prepare yourself for raised eyebrows and unstoppable giggling. Please enjoy my absurdity for your personal entertainment!

Disaster's Dictionary included the following examples to further understanding:

To act extremely awkward:

(v.) to participate in minimal/surface interaction with friends in academic/collegiate settings.

(v.) Giving side hugs/handshakes when nervous.

(v.) To screen your phone call, listen to your message and e-mail/text response minutes later.

To behave in a ridiculous manner:

(v.) To lose any expensive belonging at least twice, cry about it & start a mental fundraiser to raise funds to replace it before mommy realizes its missing.

(v.) Misuse household cleaning products for face wash.

(v.) To have or have had a personal cab driver/text messaging relationship.

Oh the possibilities if we/ I had warning label capabilities...

Here's another recommendation:

Mommy's Warning:

I should be a game show host, own my own cell phone company and be a stockholder in the sticky note industry. Despite my Question-Queen reputation, I only drill my family, friends and associates with questions and respond with the phrase UH-HUH. My cell phone is constantly attached to my ear and if its not I am texting my children since they are all away at college. You could cover my house in sticky notes because I have to remind myself to text the children their daily lists of activities and chores in between scheduling my exercise regime and bridge lesson.

This warning does not apply when I am in my garden and planning weddings. Getting a sticky note from me with a list of things to do bumps you up on my speed dial list and is also a sign of endearment.

How do you feel about the warning label suggestion? What would yours say? Is mine accurate?

Enjoy your thursday!

xoxo,

D.D.