Delights & Disasters

In the Spirit of the weekend Friday's are now officially titled : Drum Roll please....

Delights & Disasters

Think Rants & Raves or Highs & Lows of the week:

Delights:

1. I'll be on a plane this time next week! Hooray!

2. Tonight is my first night out as a 5th year... people don't think that's the equivalent of failing the 12th grade...right?.

3. Tim Gunn and I are back to our weekly relationship. We were kind of on the outs since he was cheating on me with Lifetime, but I'll get over it.

4. My beloved Harry (my car) is being returned to me tomorrow! I've missed the ole' clinker!

Disasters:

1. Piggy Pox are on the loose... praying they stay away from me!

2. The Song "Tardy for the Party".... if you don't know what that is... trust me you're better off not knowing!

3. Some of the outfits I've worn throughout college. Why didn't ya'll ever call Stacey and Clinton?

Please feel free to share your own delights/disasters! Cheers!

D.D.

Warning Labels

Forget having a supernatural ability. I'd rather be able to have and of course read a "Warning Label" when introduced to an unfamiliar person and/or activity. Sort of like a cousin to Facebook...

For instance my warning label would/should/WILL read:

Hello my name is the Duchess of Disaster,

This is your WARNING that it's highly likely I will act extremely awkward or participate in some unknowingly ridiculous behavior at some point before the end of the day. Prepare yourself for raised eyebrows and unstoppable giggling. Please enjoy my absurdity for your personal entertainment!

Disaster's Dictionary included the following examples to further understanding:

To act extremely awkward:

(v.) to participate in minimal/surface interaction with friends in academic/collegiate settings.

(v.) Giving side hugs/handshakes when nervous.

(v.) To screen your phone call, listen to your message and e-mail/text response minutes later.

To behave in a ridiculous manner:

(v.) To lose any expensive belonging at least twice, cry about it & start a mental fundraiser to raise funds to replace it before mommy realizes its missing.

(v.) Misuse household cleaning products for face wash.

(v.) To have or have had a personal cab driver/text messaging relationship.

Oh the possibilities if we/ I had warning label capabilities...

Here's another recommendation:

Mommy's Warning:

I should be a game show host, own my own cell phone company and be a stockholder in the sticky note industry. Despite my Question-Queen reputation, I only drill my family, friends and associates with questions and respond with the phrase UH-HUH. My cell phone is constantly attached to my ear and if its not I am texting my children since they are all away at college. You could cover my house in sticky notes because I have to remind myself to text the children their daily lists of activities and chores in between scheduling my exercise regime and bridge lesson.

This warning does not apply when I am in my garden and planning weddings. Getting a sticky note from me with a list of things to do bumps you up on my speed dial list and is also a sign of endearment.

How do you feel about the warning label suggestion? What would yours say? Is mine accurate?

Enjoy your thursday!

xoxo,

D.D.

Dear Duchess, We cannot hire you

I'm back and promise to write consistently! Thanks to all who have read so far..what loyal readers!

It was a Sunday morning just a few weeks ago when I received the following two e-mails. The first read:

8:15 a.m.

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for your interest in applying for the hostess position at the _____ _____. Although you showed enthusiasm and promise we are UNABLE to hire you at this time. 

Sincerely, The Computer who conducted your interview

& the second e-mail...

8:21 a.m.

My Darling Duchess,

Your father and I have decided you are NOT ALLOWED to join us at the beach unless you find a part-time job. You've had all summer to do this so NO excuses! Wouldn't it be SAD if you had to spend your week of summer vacation looking for a job? Update me with your progress. You can do it and you really need to get some sun.

love, mommy

At this point my eyes were welling with tears and all I could do was hide underneath my covers and hope I would win the JackPot Lotto later this week(HA!). I couldn't decide which was worse; that I hadn't gotten the job or that I wouldn't be able to go to the beach. My final summer school exams were the next few days... I needed to study not find a job! Thursday rolled around and my exams were over and it was technically my week-long summer vacation...PARTYY!!!(NOT) My college roommate of 3 years was flying in to graduate and I was planning on staying the weekend and of course landing a dream job in the course of 72 hours. Friday morning I woke up early with a slight headache from the previous evenings festivities and the lingering fear I was going to have to sell my soul to random businesses all afternoon. 

After procrastinating ( which basically consists of reality t.v., googling celebrities & conversing without speaking a.k.a texting, g-chatting fb) for a few hours I finally got dressed and agreed I would go for a quick lunch at a cute eatery with my roomie before I began what I thought was going to be a Devil Wears Prada like day. After arriving at the restaurant,which is one of the few relatively nice lunch options, in our quaint college town, there was a line wrapped around the corner so we put our name down and noticed a new store opened two doors down. We had nothing else to do so we went in and began chatting with the adorable owner and checking out all of the lovely merchandise. Our buzzer went off which meant our table was ready and we headed to lunch. 

As we were walking out of the store my roomie turned to me and said "You should totally work there"! She reminded me of why I was qualified for the job not to mention the fact I had nothing to lose and after lunch we returned to the store where I landed a position! Although, it was not what I expected the opportunity was very rewarding and allowed me to do the following things: 1. Get a part-time job 2. Go to the beach  3. Use my creativity! 

Of course my path to employment has been unconventional and some would say I was procrastinating all summer but I believe its all about timing. It took me all summer to realize I could not get to point C without going through point A and point B. 

Conclusively: If doors are shutting in your face or the well has run dry consider this great thought:

Bottom line - you never know what the future holds. Something that seems bad today could end up to be something good tomorrow. You might meet the love of your life at the second job you had to take to make extra money. The Universe works in mysterious ways. Your only job is to keep showing up and staying open to hope.

--Anonymous

Stay tuned....XOXO D.D.

Out with the Old..In with the New

Typically, this popular tag-line frustrates me! As fond as I am of cutesy quotes and rhyming phrases this is one of the few I cannot quite embrace. Currently, I am in the process of moving, well unpacking at this point and am still waging in an epic battle against myself in terms of the definitions of “treasure” & “trash”. Even though some of my college memorabilia is worn, torn, tattered & fragrantly sour I cannot bring myself to part with it!

If you’ve ever interacted with me for more than five minutes you know that I STRIVE for organization, functionality & fun…however, I will be the first to admit that I lose things easier & more often than most, can be totally random and overly-enjoy the comfort of my own bed! It is not an intentional activity it just happens…not on a daily basis but more regularly than I would like. Maybe it’s my obsession with stacks, notebooks, compartments, & shelves that aides in my misplacing of personal items or  the hope my mommy won’t ever notice I’ve misplaced my umpteenth piece of jewelry while I attempt to have a personal fundraiser to collect funds to replace the missing item.

Now, in regards to moving, if I would have chucked a large majority of my favorite and most treasured college memories that were lodged in the jungle underneath my bed I would have never have found half of the things I’ve spent the past months searching for. Instead of disregarding all of my college keepsakes I’ve come up with a new motto for moving, growing up and entering big girl world and this has been especially comforting since I am unable to embrace “Out with the Old In with the New..” Consider this instead: “Re-model the Old into the New You!” Instead of saying goodbye to all the things you have held dearly for all of eternity, pack them up and keep your favorites in an easily accessible place. Now, you can take your mind on a jog through the highs & lows of college anytime your little heart desires, while moving forward in the wonderful land of POCO! (Post-College) This way you can have the best of both worlds all at the same time!

xoxo,

D.D.

P.S.

Congrats to all of my real world amigas1So proud of ya’ll for all of your new jobs!!

 Congrats to all of the newly-employed friends of mine!

9-5-No sweat you’ll be just fine!

Remember cocktail hour starts when you get off work

And you have no homework-yes that’s a major perk!

 

 

I'm dreaming of a.....

Home Alone was hands down one of the most iconic films of the 90s and is also a personal favorite of mine. It was love at first sight when undeniably adorable yet devilish Kevin McCallister delivered one of his many hilarious one-liners "A large cheese pizza just for me". 

A few weeks ago my love for this cult-classic was renewed but in a unfamiliar perspective.

This summer I've adopted an early to bed, early to rise routine. Let me preface I've always had a very tumultuous relationship with alarm clocks and have been mindful of scheduling classes in the later morning and afternoon to avoid oversleeping. However; this summer I've had an 8 a.m. class everyday therefore I routinely set and strategically place 3 alarm clocks around my room making it difficult to oversleep! A few weeks ago it was finals week for the 1st summer session and the night before my exam arrived. I tucked myself into bed at 10:30 after thoroughly studying all week and was eager to take the test the next morning. The next thing I knew it was 9:30 a.m. the morning of my 8 a.m. exam!

Watch the first 10 seconds of this clip to get the full effect of my panic. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGrLLn4nooQ

The next 10 minutes of my life I was so overwhelmed its hard to say exactly what I did but I can tell you I've never committed such a heinous fashion crime in my life.. well maybe freshmen year when I ran around in the ninja costume.By 9:45 I arrived out of breath with crocodile tears streaming down my ghostly pale face to the exam room sparsely filled with my peers since only 30 minutes remained in the allotted time. My professor had been a stickler for attendance and tardiness so I was sure she was going to expect me to turn in the exam at the end of the remaining time. As the classroom finally emptied she approached my desk and granted me an additional two hours to finish my exam. 

After I turned in my exam my teacher reminded me that what is important in regards to this situation is not the fact I had a nightmare of a morning and was two hours late but how I chose to react to the situation by showing up and not blaming my absence on some rinky-dink doctor's note. We all have the ability to turn any situation around so don't be discouraged if something doesn't go according to plan, consider it an opportunity to try a new direction.

xoxo, 

Buzzes' girlfriend Woof!

Rolling out the Red Carpet

Welcome to Delightful Disasters! This blog will feature a collection of posts, pictures, links etc. illustrating my delightfully disastrous journey through my final months of college and beyond. As I prepare to finally jump off the "high-dive" into the Big kids Pool...aka.. The Real World my stories will probably focus on the intimidation, fear of the unknown future and utter cluelessness about transforming myself into a productive member of society. Humorously enough I've found that the person I am today is simply the little girl version of myself all grown up..same girl just the 2009 version! Cheers to life and laughter after all I am the Duchess of Disaster!